Friday, October 24, 2008
BODY OF LIES (RUSSELL CROWE, LEONARDO DICAPRIO; 2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 2:28 AM 5 comments
Friday, July 25, 2008
BLADE RUNNER (HARRISON FORD, THE RUTGER HAUER, EDWARD JAMES OLMOS, SEAN YOUNG;1982)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:02 PM 1 comments
Saturday, July 19, 2008
THE DARK KNIGHT (HEATH LEDGER, THE JOKER, NICHOLSON LOSES, HEATH LEDGER, HEATH LEDGER ROCKS; 2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 9:15 PM 1 comments
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
LEGENDS OF THE FALL (BRAD PITT, HANIBAL LECTOR, E.T. 'MO, TASTY PIECE; 1994)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 2:09 PM 1 comments
Sunday, July 13, 2008
THE WACKNESS (JOSH PECK, BEN KINGSLEY; 2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:23 AM 1 comments
Thursday, July 10, 2008
NUMB (MATHEW PERRY, KEVIN POLLACK, LYNN COLLINS; 2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 10:19 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
HANCOCK (WILL SMITH, JASON BATEMAN;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 3:57 AM 3 comments
Thursday, July 3, 2008
WANTED (JAMES MCAVOY, ANGELINA JOLIE-VOIGHT-PITT, MORGAN "I'M ACTUALLY A WHITE MAN IT'S JUST THE LIGHTING" FREEMAN; 2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:09 AM 10 comments
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
BLUE VELVET (DENNIS HOPPER, DAVID LYNCH'S PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT;1986)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 12:33 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
THE MOVIE JERK WILL BE POSTING TONIGHT ON SOMETHING YOU'D NEVER WATCH ANYWAY. WRITE LIKE YOU TALK. THINK LIKE YOU SPEAK. -TMJ
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 1:43 PM 0 comments
Saturday, June 21, 2008
GET SMART (STEVE CARELL, A ROCK, ANNE HATHAWAY;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 10:51 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
THE HAPPENING (MARK WAHLBERG, ZOOEY DESCHANEL, ASHLYN SANCHEZ, TREES, THE WIND;2008)
THAT MY DEAR FANS IS A PICTURE OF THE MOVIE JERK AVOIDING HIGH GAS PRICES BY RUNNING TO SOUTHAMPTON TO AVOID THE HORRORS OF A WEEKEND STUCK IN MANHATTAN. WELL, THAT AND/OR AVOIDING ANOTHER DUI. GOD. I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE HARLEM IT’S SO HOT. QUICK EVERYONE! TO THE JITNEY BEFORE THEY HEAR US! AHHH YES. M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: INDIAN. GIVER. MOVER. SHAKER. BAD FILM MAKER. JUST AS I SUSPECTED, M, AS HE’S REFERRED TO BY THE SUPERCOOL, HAS MADE ANOTHER EXCELLENT PREVIEW FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER TERRIBLE MOVIE. M, YOU ARE THE COAL IN MY STOCKING. THE RASH ON MY ASS. THE PIMP WHO CLAIMS I DIDN’T PAY HIM. THE FAT GIRL I WAS TOO NICE TO AND THE SKINNY ONE I CAN’T AFFORD. STOP FUCKING ME WITH YOUR TRAILERS AND PAY BRUCE WILLIS TO BRING YOU A HIT. THIS MOVIE IS BASICALLY AN INDEPENDENT HORROR FILM ABOUT THE DANGERS OF GLOBAL WARMING. LITERALLY. I CAN’T SAY ANYMORE IN CASE YOU ACCIDENTALLY FALL INTO A THEATER AND WATCH THIS ATROCITY.
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 11:01 AM 3 comments
Saturday, June 14, 2008
THE INCREDIBLE HULK TOO (NOT ERIC BANA, NOT JENNIFER CONNELLY, SAME GREEN MACHINE;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 4:45 AM 2 comments
Friday, June 13, 2008
FUNNY GAMES (NAOMI WATTS, TIM ROTH, MICHAEL PITT; 2008 A.D.)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:53 AM 1 comments
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
CASSANDRA'S DREAM (COLIN FARRELL, EWAN "SHOULD BE 'IAN'" MCGREGOR, SLUTES, PILLS, MURDER, AND A BOAT NAMED CASSANDRA'S DREAM;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 1:03 PM 1 comments
Monday, June 2, 2008
NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS (NICOLAS CAGE, ED HARRIS, JON VOIGHT, DIANE KRUGER, GROSSLY DISTORTED HISTORY;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 10:39 AM 1 comments
Sunday, June 1, 2008
THE STRANGERS (LIV TYLER, SCOTT SPEEDMAN;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 5:29 AM 0 comments
Friday, May 30, 2008
STAYED TUNED FOR THE MOVIE JERK'S REVIEW OF THE STRANGERS. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "THE STRANGER." WHICH ALSO ROCKS!
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:43 AM 0 comments
THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN PART II (RICKY SHRODER, BENJAMIN BRATT, WILL, TOKEN BLACK FEMALE DOCTOR, TOKEN GAY SOLDIER, TOKEN ASIAN SCIENTIST;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:19 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN PART 1 (RICKY SHRODER, BENJAMIN BRATT, ERIC MCCORMACK;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:09 AM 0 comments
Monday, May 26, 2008
The Flock (Richard Gere, Claire Danes;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 11:15 AM 2 comments
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
THE ROAD WARRIOR (MEL GIBSON, BRUCE SPENCE;1982)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 3:31 AM 0 comments
Sunday, May 18, 2008
PREMONITION (SANDRA BULLOCK, JULIAN MCMAHON;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 2:15 PM 2 comments
Thursday, May 15, 2008
POINT BREAK (KEANU REEVES, PATRICK SWAYZE, GARY BUSEY;1991)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 11:39 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
AIR AMERICA (MEL GIBSON, ROBERT DOWNEY JR.;1990)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:32 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
THE X-FILES (DAVID DUCHOVNY, GILLIAN ANDERSON;1998)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:01 AM 1 comments
Sunday, May 11, 2008
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (RYAN GOSLING, EMILY MORTIMER;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 11:17 AM 0 comments
Thursday, May 8, 2008
CONSPIRACY (VAL KILMER, JENNIFER ESPOSITO;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:37 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:29 AM 0 comments
Saturday, May 3, 2008
IRON MAN (ROBERT DOWNEY JR.;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 4:28 AM 1 comments
Thursday, May 1, 2008
CSI: COKE SPEED INJECTION
COPS: "WAIT...WAIT...GET THIS GUYS...O.K., O.K... HEY GARY CAN, UM, WE GET A DNA SAMPLE (SNICKER)? NO...WAIT...WAIT..HOW 'BOUT A BLOOD CULTURE?" AHAHAHAHAHA. "WE'RE JUST KIDDING. YOU'RE FUCKED. GET IN THE CAR ASSHOLE."
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 9:14 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (JASON SEGEL,RUSSEL BRAND, KRISTIN BELL, MILA KUNIS;2008)
BETTER THAN KNOCKED UP. FUNNIER THEN GARY DOURDAN AT COACHELLA. NO SUPERBAD. I’VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF LIMITING THE ACTORS IN THIS PHOTO TO THE FUNNY ONES….. "BUT…BUT…MR. MOVIEJERK THERE’S ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE PHOTO…." TMJ: "I KNOW PETEY. NOW KEEP LICKING THE WINDOWS ‘TILL THE BUS COMES TO A FULL STOP. AND DON’T YOU QUIT SMACKING YOURSELF IN THE FACE. REMEMBER, PEOPLE WHO CONTROL THEIR BODY MOVEMENTS AREN’T SPECIAL LIKE YOU. AND WHY AREN’T THEY SPECIAL PETEY?"….PETEY: "WHEN IT'S BROWN FLUSH IT DOWN?" TMJ: "AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME KID. WAY TO CORK THE FORK LITTLE BUDDY. AIM FOR THE HALL AND NOT THE WALL." THE REASON THERE’S ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE PHOTO IS BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM THE MOVIE JERK WOULDN’T RECOMMEND THIS LITTLE NUMBER. MAYBE IT WAS ALL THE HYPE THAT LET ME DOWN. MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE IT’S NOTHING MORE THAN A RACY ROMANTIC COMEDY. I CAN’T PUT MY FINGER ON IT…WAIT…YES I CAN….IT’S MASHED POTATOES. IT’S ALSO JUST NOT THAT FUNNY. THE RIDICULOUS ENGLISH ROCK STAR REALLY SAVES THE DAY. DEFINITELY WORTH A RENTAL.
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 10:44 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
BABY MAMA (TINA FEY, AMY POEHLER; 2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:09 AM 1 comments
Saturday, April 26, 2008
THE SAVAGES (PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN, LAURA LINNEY;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:41 PM 0 comments
Friday, April 25, 2008
ONE MISSED CALL (ED BURNS, SHANNYN SOSSAMON;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:48 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
OCEAN'S 13 (BRAD PITT, GEORGE CLOONEY, AL PACINO, MATT DAMON;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 12:21 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
88 MINUTES (AL PACINO, LEELEE SOBIESKI, ALICIA WITT;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:23 AM 8 comments
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
PEOPLE I KNOW (AL PACINO, TEA LEONI, KIM BASSINGER, RYAN O'NEAL;2003)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:19 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
THE NUMBER 23 (FIRE MARSHAL BILL, VIRGINIA MADSEN, TWENTY THREE;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 8:13 AM 1 comments
Monday, April 14, 2008
SMART PEOPLE (DENNIS QUAID, ELLEN PAGE, THOMAS HADEN CHURCH, SARAH JESSICA PARKER, ASHTON HOLMES;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:44 AM 0 comments
Sunday, April 13, 2008
STREET KINGS (KEANU REEVES, FOREST "LOOK ME IN THE EYE" WHITAKER, DR. HOUSE, JAY MOHR;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:20 AM 0 comments
Friday, April 11, 2008
LIONS FOR LAMBS (TOM "THE BOMB" CRUISE, ROBERT "NEW SKIN NOW PLEASE" REDFORD, MERYL "EWW YEAH!" STREEP;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 6:29 AM 0 comments
Monday, April 7, 2008
FEAST OF LOVE (GREG KINNEAR, MORGAN FREEMAN, JANE ALEXANDER;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 12:28 PM 3 comments
Sunday, April 6, 2008
DAN IN REAL LIFE (STEVE CARELL, JULLIETTE BINOCHE, DANE COOK;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 3:46 PM 0 comments
Saturday, April 5, 2008
THE RUINS (JOHNATHON TUCKER, LAURA RAMSEY, JENA MALONE;2008)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 7:18 AM 2 comments
Thursday, April 3, 2008
THE DARJEELING LIMITED (OWEN WILSON, ADRIEN BRODY, JASON SCHWARTZMAN;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 12:13 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
JESSE STONE: SEA CHANGE (TOM SELLECK;2007)
Posted by THE MOVIE JERK at 9:36 AM 0 comments