THIS MOVIE IS SET IN A FUTURISTIC ENGLAND IN WHICH CLIVE OWEN STILL ACTS AND WOMEN CAN NO LONGER GET PREGNANT. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS AS TO WHICH OF THOSE ISSUES IS ACTUALLY A PROBLEM. IF THIS STORY WERE EVEN REMOTELY FEASIBLE, CHINA WOULD HAVE A PARADE, CELEBRATING A CLEAN WATER SYSTEM NO LONGER FILLED WITH THEIR SECOND-BORN INFANT GIRLS. I WOULD ALSO HAVE A "NO PROTECTION" PARTY AND HUCKABEE WOULD CRAWL BACK INTO HIS BIBLE-BELT TIME MACHINE, RETURNING TO THE DAYS WHEN COAT-HANGERS WERE DOCTORS AND GIN WAS SCOOPED FROM A TUB. THIS FILM IS GENIUS. IT EXPOSED US TO THE BEST POSSIBLE EXTINCTION OF THE HUMAN RACE: FUCK 'TILL YOU DROP AND DIE. NO MORE TUITION, CRYING BABIES, DIAPERS, LOSER TEENS AND CONDOMS. H.I.V.? DON'T WORRY, A BOMB'LL GET YOU BEFORE YOU ORDER YOUR FIFTH SCOTCH LATTE. AFTER WATCHING THIS IMAGINARY HEAVEN I WANTED TO THROW MY DICK IN EVERYTHING WITH AN OPENING, DOWN TO A MICROWAVED CANTALOUPE. THEN I SAW A COP OUTSIDE THE THEATRE AND REALIZED MY INNER VIKING WOULD HAVE TO WAIT, UNTIL JULIANNE MOORE SIGNED ON FOR ASSASSINS 2: GILLIAN ANDERSON AND JULIANNE MOORE, DOIN' IT TWO-IN IT. THIS MOVIE'S CLASSIFIED AS A DRAMA BUT I PUT IT IN MY CATEGORY OF "HOPE." RENT IT AND REACT HOW YOU WISH.
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