THIS FOOD BABY WAS ABOUT A FUN AS PASSING A KIDNEY STONE. IN THIS TERRIBLE PIECE, TWO CLOWNS IN TENNIS WHITES INVADE WEALTHY SUMMER HOMES AND KILL ENTIRE FAMILIES VIA THEIR SICK GAMES. NATURALLY LAW ENFORCEMENT IS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND THROUGHOUT THE FILM. APPARENTLY NO ONE NOTICES WHEN THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF FISHER'S ISLAND FALLS OFF THE MAP. ASSININE. OUR CULPRITS ARE TWO WELL SPOKEN, WEIRD GEEKS IN TENNIS WHITES WHO COME TO PEOPLE'S FRONT DOORS AND POLITELY ASK FOR EGGS. WHAT FUCKING PRODUCER IS GREENLIGHTING THIS SHIT? WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS UP TO THE MOVIE JERK'S DOOR UNANNOUNCED ASKING FOR EGGS I ASSUME HE, OR SHE, IS ONE OF A FEW THINGS:
A. HE'S SOME FUCKING 'MO I ACCIDENTLY CONVERSED WITH THE PREVIOUS NIGHT WHEN HE APPEARED TO BE A WOMAN.
B. MY DEALER CALLED IN SICK AND SENT HIS COUSIN JULIO.
C. IT'S AN EX-GIRLFRIEND I DATED FOR 3 WEEKS IN BLACK OUT. SHE EITHER WANTS HER GOLDFISH BACK OR IS TRYING TO SLAP A FUCK ON BEFORE WORK.
D. MY CHILD.
KEEP YOUR DOOR SHUT. DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS AND DON'T RENT THIS HUNK OF CRAP.
1 comment:
The Movie Jerk is Back! Is there anyway to get an email reminder when you come out of a weeklong "hiatus" to post a review? Normally, I just assume you're dead and go back to reading Rotten Tomatos or AnneCoulter.com
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