"O.K. MAV, YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE A SHIT UNTIL THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY, OR KENNY LOGGINS, CALLS AND GIVES YOU PERMISSION. YOU'RE THE BOSS-MAN. YOU'RE IN CONTROL. HANDS ON WHEEL TOM. EYE OF THE TIGER. WHEN LIONS FOR LAMBS OPENS YOU'RE GONNA BE A FUCKING GOD AGAIN. JUST LIKE AFTER THE OPENING OF FAR AND AWAY. PEOPLE WILL WEEP FOR MY GENIUS...OH CHRIST I JUST FARTED. WHY DOES OVIII-80SCH KEEP TESTING ME LIKE THIS? I'M A SENATOR, A PILOT, A NAVY LAWYER, A RACE CAR DRIVER, A SECRET AGENT, A DISFIGURED CEO.....GODDAMN IT. I'M AN ACTOR."..... THIS MOVIE WAS....HOW DO YOU SAY?.....NOT GOOD. I DON'T MIND BE LECTURED BY ROBERT REDFORD FOR 90 MINUTES AS LONG AS THE LECTURE IS FOCUSED ON BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, SNEAKERS, THE NATURAL, PRE-MATURE AGING, OR THE LEPER COLONY FROM WHICH HE ESCAPED. ANY OTHER TOPICS BETTER COME WITH A FREE SANDWICH. TOM CRUISE, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS SO IN TOUCH WITH REALITY THAT I PRETTY MUCH BELIEVE WHATEVER HE SAYS. WHAT'S THAT TOM? GLOBAL WARMING IS ACTUALLY INSIDE MY SOCKS?...I'M SO SORRY. I'LL NEVER WEAR SOCKS AGAIN. I'VE PROBABLY ALREADY KILLED 1,000 POLAR BEARS WEARING BUSINESS SOCKS ALONE! OH MY GOD! EVERYONE MUST FREEZE THERE SOCKS! IN THIS BORE, MAV PLAYS MINIATURE REPUBLICAN SENATOR, JASPER IRVING. AS THE VIEWER YOU GET TO ENJOY LISTENING TO JASPER'S NEW STRATEGY FOR THE WAR ON TERROR. MERYL STREEP IS THE UNATTRACTIVE, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, INTELLIGENT, LIBERAL JOURNALIST INTERVIEWING JASPER. ROBERT REDFORD PLAYS AN IRRELEVANT COLLEGE PROFESSOR WITH ZERO EFFECT ON NATIONAL POLICY. WHEN YOU COMBINE THESE THREE, YOU GET, WHAT THEY CALL IN THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS, "A SLEEPER, THAT STAYS ASLEEP." THIS MOVIE IS INSULTING, ARROGANT BULLSHIT. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.
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