Friday, July 25, 2008

BLADE RUNNER (HARRISON FORD, THE RUTGER HAUER, EDWARD JAMES OLMOS, SEAN YOUNG;1982)


"WHERE'S MOVIE JERK!?" "WHERE IS HE YOU BASTARD REPLICANT?!!!!" ...I'M RIGHT HERE BABY. STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HOOKER'S PLACE. IT WAS 1982. THE YEAR OF THE MINOE. SEAN YOUNG WAS A SEX SYMBOL. DARRYL HANNAH PATIENTLY TARGETED THE KENNEDYS. EDWARD JAMES OLMOS'S ACNE CLEARED UP ONLY TO DISPLAY SCARS LARGER THAN SMALL CARTELS. AND RONALD REGAN WAS BEGINNING TO FORGET A NATION AFTER BEING RE-INFORMED OF THE INVENTION OF THE COLOR PURPLE: A MIXTURE OF RED AND BLUE, OR POOR TASTE AND NEW MONEY. THEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STALLONE DYNASTY ARRIVED THE PRINCESS OF THE KINGDOM: RIDLEY SCOTT. THREE YEARS AFTER ALIEN, STARRING A YOUNG, DRUNK, AGGRESSIVE NICK NOLTE WITH TWO MOUTHS, CAME BLADE RUNNER. NOT JUST A MOVIE BUT ANOTHER SOPHISTICATED CHILD'S SKETCH OF A FUTURE HOLLYWOOD THINKS IT CAN PREDICT. OH SHIT! WAS THAT GLOBAL WARMING?! HIDE THE THE DRUGS. ACCUMULATING LESS REVENUE THAN ONE NIGHT FOR STUDIO 54, THIS MOVIE STILL MANAGED TO RECEIVE CRITICAL PRAISE DUE TO THE MASSIVE SHIPMENTS ARRIVING NIGHTLY FROM MIAMI. "OH MY GOD DUDE. IT'S LIKE, FUCKING CARS CAN FLY AND DARRYL HANNAH'S A HOMELESS VAGRANT ANDROID. THE 80'S ARE FUCKIN' CHANGING THE WORLD BUDDY! PASS ME THAT BAG I WANNA HIT ONE BEFORE WE GET TO DORRIAN'S. THAT FUCKIN' STALL'S ALWAYS PACKED TO THE GILLS."

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