LEGENDS OF THE FALL (BRAD PITT, HANIBAL LECTOR, E.T. 'MO, TASTY PIECE; 1994)

THIS IS A PICTURE OF THE MOVIE JERK REVISING HIS CREATIVE GENIUS IN MY CABIN JUST SOUTH OF EAST ST. LOUIS. UNTIL THE MOVIE JERK REARED HIS FANTASTICAL HEAD, HE'D ONLY RETURNED TO THIS WOOD MANSION ONCE BEFORE. THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS BORN TO MIDGET BARONS, GOLD BARS, AND A VIRTUOUS STRIPPER NAMED JIZZABELLA CUMFACE (IN HER NATIVE ITALY IT'S PRONOUNCED COME-FA-CHAY.....WHO KNEW?). APPARENTLY, I WAS CONCEIVED ON THE HARD STEEL OF A WINDOWLESS VAN BY A DWARF HOOKER WITH THE INTEGRITY OF A MOOSE IN MATING SEASON. GOD DAMN THE SPRING AND ITS LOVESTRUCK PREDATORS. THAT WOULD PROBABLY EXPLAIN MY AVERSION TO FLOWERS, TREES, THE SUN, AND ANYTHING I CAN'T FUCK SIDEWAYS. GOD BLESS MICROWAVES WHILE I'M BLESSING SHIT. MICROWAVES ARE THE CHEAPEST INCUBATOR OUT THERE FOR PREMATURE BIRTH. ALWAYS REMEMBER, DESPITE WHAT YOU HEAR IN THE GHETTO, "DEFROST" CAN CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE. WHERE ARE MY PILLS!!!!? OKILO DOKEY. MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES. LEGENDS OF THE FALL IS THE STORY OF A FAMILY TORN APART BY LOVE, LUST AND WORLD WAR 1, WHICH MADE IRAQ LOOK LIKE A TEA PARTY. IF YOU WATCH LEGENDS OF THE FALL, BRAVEHEART, AND LAST OF THE MOHICANS BACK TO BACK, YOU WILL CRY. OR DRINK. EITHER WAY YOU'LL DEFINITELY LOSE. SO WHAT'S NOT TO WIN? -TMJ (HELP IS ON THE WAY).