I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF POSTING A PICTURE OF MATHEW PERRY JUST TO PROVE HE'S STILL ALIVE. IN THIS PARTICULAR PHOTO PERRY IS CARRYING A BOX OF THE SCRIPTS/ROLES HE TURNED DOWN BEFORE FRIENDS WAS CANCELLED. ABSENT FROM THIS BOX, SOON TO BE HOME, IS THREE TO TANGO, SERVING SARA, HOOSIERS 2: SENIOR YEAR, AND THE RON CLARK STORY. ALL CINEMATIC MILESTONES THEMSELVES, IT'S NO SURPRISE THE JUICY SCRIPT FOR NUMB LANDED IN PERRY'S LAP. NUMB IS THE TYPE OF MOVIE YOU RENT DRUNK, WATCH HUNGOVER, AND FEEL ASHAMED OF AFTERWARD. IT'S LIKE IF YOU WERE AT A BAR, BEER-GOGGLED TO HELL AND BACK, AND ALL THE FAT GIRLS WERE THE MOVIE NUMB. "HEY BABY, YOU'RE HUUUGE. WHAT'D YOU DO? EAT MATHEW PERRY? HAHAHA. I'M JUST KIDDING, THAT'S A JOKE. WHY DON'T YOU POLISH OFF THAT SHOT OF POTATO CHIP AND GET IN THE CAR......WHOA,WHOA. UH, UH. THE TRUNK BABY, GET IN THE TRUNK. THAT'S RIGHT. WELCOME TO THE SELF-ESTEEM MACHINE." ANYWAY, NUMB IS THE STORY OF A SCREENWRITER WITH "ACUTE DEPERSONALIZATION DISORDER." APPARENTLY THIS DISORDER TURNS A PERSON INTO A SLIGHTLY DEPRESSED CHANDLER BING. HOWEVER, AFTER UNEXPECTEDLY FALLING IN LOVE, THE SCREENWRITER DECIDES TO TRY EVERY THERAPY IMAGINABLE IN ORDER TO WIN OVER THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTION. LAUGHTER ENSUES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE TO LAUGH. STEER CLEAR. -TMJ
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