THE TITLE OF THIS HORROR FILM IS MORE THAN ACCURATE. THIS MOVIE ALSO COULD HAVE BEEN TITLED, THE WORST, THIS'LL HURT, NO SEQUEL PLEASE, GOOD LORD IS THIS OVER YET?, AND/OR WHERE'S MY REFUND? THE STORY LINE IS SIMPLE. FOUR AMERICAN TOURISTS TRAVEL TO CANCUN TO DRINK AND VOMIT. ON THEIR LAST DAY THEY DECIDE TO BRANCH OUT AND GO SEE SOMETHING BESIDES THE FLOOR. THAT "SOMETHING" IS AN ANCIENT MAYAN TEMPLE. ONCE THEY ARRIVE AT THE TEMPLE THEY'RE ATTACKED AND TRAPPED BY MEXICANS WHO DON'T SPEAK SPANISH OR ENGLISH. FORCED TO REMAIN ON THE MYSTERIOUS TEMPLE, THE FOURSOME BEGINS SEARCHING FOR AN ALTERNATE EXIT FROM THE ONE BEING BLOCKED BY SPEEDY GONZALES AND SLO-MO. IT'S THEN.......MWHAHAHAHAH!... THAT THEY'RE ATTACKED BY KILLER VINES! YES, YOU READ CORRECTLY, KILLER VINES. IT WAS ALSO THEN THAT THE MOVIE JERK BECAME SO BORED HE BEGAN CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR AND GRABBING PEOPLE'S TOES, SCREAMING, "GET 'EM OFF ME!" "THESE FUCKING VINES ARE EVERYWHERE!" "OH MY GOD YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT!" LUCKILY, THEY LET ME BRING MY LAPTOP INTO THE DRUNK TANK, FROM WHICH I DELIVER THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU....DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.
2 comments:
you are so fucking funny. i had to laugh out loud and bang on the desk. the fucking vines. hahahaha
i once saw juancito stab a girl with a dental instrument, or was that the movie jerk?
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