READ THE CAPTION: "THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE TOTALLY INSANE." (I DOUBT BOB DOWNEY WAS TOO PROUD WHEN HE STUMBLED INTO THE WRONG HOUSE IN MALIBU, THINKING IT WAS HIS, AND PASSED OUT). THAT BEING SAID... HOW SADLY ACCURATE IT IS WHEN LIFE IMITATES ART. IN THIS 35 MILLION DOLLAR ACTION FEAST, NOT ONLY DO RIGGS AND MURTAUGH CRASH PLANES INSTEAD OF CARS BUT THEY'RE BOTH WHITE! UNFORTUNATELY, THE PRODUCERS NARROWED THEIR TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC BY LIMITING THE PLOT TO CAUCASIAN CAMARADERIE. THEREFORE DRASTICALLY LOWERING THE BOX OFFICE REVENUE AS WELL. THERE'S SIMPLY NO OTHER EXCUSE FOR THIS GEM DOING AS POORLY AS IT DID (5 MILLION UNDER BUDGET). IF ONLY MURTAUGH WERE THERE TO HOLD BACK RIGGS AS HE FOAMED AT THE MOUTH, SHOT GUNS AND GOT ELECTROCUTED IN MID-AIR. DAMN YOU DOWNEY AND YOUR METHADONE ACTING. NEXT TIME YOU GET BACK ON THE JUNK, IRONMAN, YOU BETTER NIKKI-SIX YOUR ASS INTO A REAL BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT. I HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR DANNY GLOVER'S CAREER DECISIONS. SHOOTER? SAW? THE BLACK STUDENTS' UNION? THIRD WORLD LIBERATION FRONT? I CAN'T EVEN FIND THOSE LATTER TWO MOVIES. IT'S JUST SAD. APPARENTLY MEL GIBSON AND RDJ REALLY BONDED AND ENJOYED "GETTING INTO CHARACTER" BEFORE THIS FLOP BEGAN FILMING IN THAILAND: HOME OF THE AMERICAN PEDOPHILE. I'M SHOCKED. WHAT DID THESE TWO HAVE IN COMMON ASIDE FROM A POOR SCRIPT? WAIT...WAIT....IF MY MATH IS CORRECT....MEL GIBSON BEGAN ATTENDING A.A. MEETINGS IN 1991, AND ROBERT DOWNEY JR. MADE CHAPLIN IN 1992....YES! I'VE GOT IT! THEY WERE BOTH COMPLETELY FUCKED UP WHEN FILMING BEGAN IN 1989. I LIKE TO THANK TO MY 10TH GRADE PRE-CALC TEACHER FOR NOT QUITING ON ME, AND FOR KEEPING ME AWAKE IN CLASS BY SMELLING LIKE A SHOE. I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN INTO DRUGS WITHOUT YOU. CHEERS. BITCH.
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