VAL KILMER'S WEIGHT GAIN IS NO LONGER TOP SECRET. IN THIS ACTION PACKED CONFUSATHON, WHICH SHOULD REALLY BE CONSIDERED VAL KILMER'S RESIGNATION FROM THE MOVIE BUSINESS, ICE-MAN STARS AS A WOUNDED MARINE SUFFERING FROM P.T.S.D. WHICH IN VAL KILMER'S CASE STANDS FOR, PAIR of TITS & STOMACH-DICK. SERIOUSLY, THIS GUY'S PLAYING A MARINE BUT HE LOOKS LIKE CHILI SHIT. ANYWAY, SEMI-RETIRED, MEANING FULLY-DRUNK, VAL CRUISES UP TO ARIZONA TO VISIT A FRIEND WHO HAS SOME LAND AND WORK PROSPECTS.... START A NEW LIFE TYPE OF THING. YOU KNOW THE DRILL. HOWEVER, WHEN THE SAINT ARRIVES IN ARIZONA, AFTER SINGLE-HANDEDLY CAUSING A GREYHOUND BUS TO BURN AT LEAST TWO EXTRA TANKS OF GAS, HIS FRIEND IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. NATURALLY, ICE-MAN DOESN'T NOTIFY ANY AUTHORITIES BUT INSTEAD TURNS INTO AN ASS-KICKING P.I. THIS LEADS TO MANY PEOPLE DYING. SOME PROBABLY INNOCENT. I WOULD RECCOMEND WATCHING THIS ON TNT. THAT'S IT. THIS IS NOT KILMER'S BEST WORK. HOPEFULLY HIS NEXT PROJECT WILL BE, THE DOORS 2: HOW MORRISON FOUGHT OBESITY AND BRONCHITIS IN 1971.
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