TO YOUR LEFT IS A PICTURE OF RICKY SHRODER. ONE OF THE TOP SCIENTISTS HIRED TO FIND A CURE FOR AN ALIEN VIRUS KNOWN AS ANDROMEDA. IF THIS MOVIE WERE AT ALL REALISTIC EVERYONE WOULD ALREADY BE DEAD. YOU DON'T CURE DEADLY VIRUSES WITH NAKED CANNONBALLS OR SILVER SPOONS. THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN IS A VIRUS PICKED UP IN SPACE BY AN AMERICAN SATELLITE. ANDROMEDA INDUCES BLOOD CLOTTING, AS WELL AS HOMICIDAL AND SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR. WHICH MAKES ME SUSPECT "ANDROMEDA" IS ACTUALLY A LARGE SHIPMENT OF PCP. FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR WITH PCP, IT'S THE DRUG TO WHICH MOST MARVEL SUPERHEROES ARE ADDICTED. IT MAKES YOU FEEL NO PAIN, PROVIDES A FALSE SENSE OF INVINCIBILITY, AND CAUSES YOU TO BELIEVE YOU CAN FLY. IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY. THE FIRST HALF OF THIS REMAKE PREMIERED LAST NIGHT ON A&E NETWORK AND I MUST SAY I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. IT WAS PRETTY CLOSE TO A REAL MOVIE. AND FREE. WILL FROM WILL & GRACE PLAYS A HETEROSEXUAL JOURNALIST IN THIS. HOWEVER, EVERY TIME A TENSE ACTION SCENE BREAKS OUT HE RUNS FOR A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY, SITS DOWN, PATS HIS BROW WITH A POLKA-DOT HANDKERCHIEF, AND STARTS TELLING ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN ABOUT WHAT A "CRAZTHY WAZY" DAY HE'S HAVING. THE ENTIRE MOVIE PLAYS TONIGHT ON A&E. CHECK THE TIMES AND BE SURE TO TUNE IN.
No comments:
Post a Comment