Friday, March 7, 2008

DEAD SILENCE (AMBER VALLETTA, RYAN KWANTEN, DONNIE WAHLBERG;2007)


DONNIE WAHLBERG APPROACHES LIFE WITH THE SUBTLETY OF A FREIGHT TRAIN. AFTER PROVING HIMSELF AS AN ENTERTAINING PHENOMENON IN NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK, DONNIE DECIDED TO SET SAIL IN THE SEA OF ACTING. I BELIEVE WITH DEAD SILENCE, MR. WAHLBERG HAS FINALLY FOUND HIS WHITE WHALE. I HEARD HE'S SO DEDICATED TO HIS CRAFT THAT HE REFUSES TO USE A PERSON FOR A STUNT DOUBLE. TRUE TO HIS AUDIENCE AND CRITICS, WAHLBERG INSISTS HIS STUNT DOUBLE ALWAYS BE A SOCK PUPPET. HE CLAIMS NO MAN CAN CAPTURE THE EMOTION HE EXPRESSES ON SCREEN BETTER THAN SOME CLOTH AND A SHARPIE. THAT'S THE TYPE OF CONFIDENCE HOLLYWOOD CAN'T TAKE FROM YOU. NO MATTER WHAT MOVIE YOU'RE CAST IN. DEAD SILENCE IS THE STORY OF MARY SHAW, A CHILD MURDERER, AND PUPPETEER, WHO WAS BRUTALLY KILLED BY THE LOCAL RESIDENTS OF THE TOWN, RAVENS FAIR. AFTER HER MURDER, HER PUPPETS HAUNT RAVEN'S FAIR FOR MANY YEARS. USUALLY, I'D WARN THAT THIS TYPE OF FILM IS ABOUT AS ENTERTAINING AS URINATING. HOWEVER, WITH WAHLBERG'S ON SCREEN PROWESS, I'D SAY IT'S UP THERE WITH TAKING A DUMP. ALRIGHTY THEN, STAY TUNED FOR THE MOVIE JERK'S REVIEW OF 10,000 B.C. ARRIVING TOMORROW AT SOME POINT! -TMJ

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