Monday, March 24, 2008

THE REAPING, (HILLARY SWANK, ANNASOPHIA ROBB;2007)


NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS. PLEASE IGNORE THIS HIDEOUS ACCIDENT. JUST KEEP MOVING. THE NEXT OFFICER WILL DIRECT YOU TO A MOVIE THAT'S ACTUALLY WORTH $10......HILLARY SWANK, NO LONGER PLAYING MEN, HAS FINALLY PULLED HERSELF TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO RESEMBLE SOMETHING A MEMBER OF THE MALE POPULATION MIGHT ACTUALLY WANT TO IMPREGNATE. BEFORE CITIZEN-CANE 2 HERE, SHE WAS ONLY PURSUED BY

A. THINGS THAT WALKED ON 4 LEGS

B. THE PAPARRAZZI

C. HAMBURGER-GUZZLING DYKES

D. CHAD LOWE

E. ALL OF THE ABOVE

IN THE REAPING, SWANK PLAYS A PROFESSOR WHO DISPROVES "MIRACLES" THROUGH SCIENCE. IN THE SMALL TOWN OF "HAVEN." SHE FINALLY MEETS HER MATCH. IS IT REALLY A MIRACLE? OR A CULT IN OBESE MIDDLE-AMERICA? OOOOOOO. SCARY. I RECOMEND BURNING MONEY BEFORE RENTING THIS.

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