YOU COULD STARE AT THE PICTURE TO YOUR LEFT FOR THREE HOURS AND BE JUST AS ENTERTAINED AS YOU WOULD BE WATCHING THIS CRY FOR HELP. JUDGING BY BRAD'S DECISION MAKING LATELY, I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT HE HAS SIGNED OVER POWER OF ATTORNEY TO MADDOX, OR SOME OTHER CITIZEN REPRESENTING ONE OF THE MANY COUNTRIES RESIDING IN HIS HOUSE.... "GOD DAMN IT BRAD, WE'RE NOT DONE ADOPTING UNTIL WE HAVE ALL THE COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW. NOW WE CAN MAKE THE WHITE ONES FOR FREE, BUT I NEED YOU TO BUY PURPLE AND GREEN TODDLERS TODAY. ALSO, I'VE HEARD THERE'S A JAUNDICED BABY IN ARGENTINA WHO'S TURNING INTO AN ATTRACTIVE YELLOW HUE."... THANK YOU ANGELINA, FOR EXPOSING US TO NEW, STARVING RACES ON A WEEKLY BASIS. ALL KIDDING ASIDE THOUGH, THIS MOVIE'S SLOWER THAN CHRIS BURKE. T.A.J.J.C.R.F. IS NARRATED LIKE A DOCUMENTARY. THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS, IT'S NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE, NOR IS IT FILMED LIKE A DOCUMENTARY. SO, UM, THAT JUST SUCKS RIGHT THERE. THE ACTING IS DECENT, BUT NOT WORTH THE HOUR LONG GAPS BETWEEN ANY ACTION OR CONFRONTATION. VIEWERS COULD SEE MORE ACTION ON THE 405 FREEWAY. I RECOMMEND STAYING FAR AWAY FROM THIS FILM. THE MOVIE JERK IS NOW GOING TO CALL TIME WARNER CABLE AND CLAIM A BURGLAR BROKE IN AND ORDERED THIS PIECE OF SHIT, ALONG WITH THE 15 PORNS AT 5AM. GOD BLESS. - TMJ
3 comments:
TMJ, this is one of the best goddamn movie reviews I have ever read.
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS WASABI.
So dead on.....it took me three days to watch this film the other night......thought of it as a cure for insomnia meets a trainwreck in which not even bruce willis in unbreakable survives. One of the most depressing parts is watching brad pitt in good films to see what abortions he's decided to make now. I was very intrigued going into the film but after the credits rolled fifteen hours later i realized that the anticipation of seeing this movie is like knowing that paris has herpes--I'd maybe want to know more but finding out in person is a really bad idea.
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