...BUT NOT QUIET ENOUGH! 'CAUSE HE STILL MADE THIS GOD DAMN MESS. WOW....WHO KNEW?...WHEN CHRISTIAN SLATER'S NOT BUSY PLAYING GRAB-ASS ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK, SNORTING THE WHITE OUT OF COCAINE, OR BITING HIS FIANCE, HE STILL LIKES TO MAKE THE OCCASIONAL MOVIE. WE CAN'T BLAME THE STUDIOS THOUGH. THEY'RE CLEARLY STILL HIRING HIM BASED ON HIS CAREER DECISIONS AND AUDIENCE DRAWL FROM '85-'94. THAT INCLUDES EVERYTHING HE DID BEFORE BROKEN ARROW. I'D RATHER WATCH DIFF'RENT STROKES ON MUTE ALL DAY THAN BE SUBJECTED TO ANY SCENE FROM THAT FILM, EVER AGAIN. HE WAS A QUIET MAN IS THE STORY OF BOB MACONEL. A GROWN UP COLUMBINE AND VIRGINIA TECH GRADUATE WHO HAS THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A THUMB TACK. RIGHT BEFORE MACONEL IS ABOUT TO BLOW AWAY HIS OFFICE, SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT FOR HIM. SINCE MACONEL ALREADY HAS A LOADED WEAPON, HE EASILY STEPS INTO THE ROLE OF HERO BY KILLING THE OTHER PSYCHO-LOSER. ALSO INJURED IN THIS BLOOD BATH, WAS VENESSA, JACK BAUER'S DAUGHTER. MACONEL SAVED HER LIFE BUT SHE WAS STILL PARALYSED IN THE SHOOTING. THE REST OF THE MOVIE FOCUSES ON THEIR STRANGE RELATIONSHIP AND HER DESIRE TO DIE. BLAH BLAH BLAH. WE ALL KNOW PEOPLE LIKE MACONEL. WE THROW ROCKS AT THEM, SHIT IN THEIR LUNCH BOX, LIGHT THEIR GERBAL ON FIRE....WHATEVER. WHAT WE DON'T DO IS MAKE A MOVIE BASED ON THEM. ONE OF THESE LOSERS IS PROBABLY AIMING AT ME RIGHT NOW. THAT'S WHY THE MOVIE JERK IS STICKING OUT HIS MIDDLE FINGER AND GRABBING HIS BALLS WHILE DOING 360 DEGREE TURNS.....IF YOU WANT TO BE BORED, OR YOU'RE OBNOXIOUSLY ARROGANT AND CREATIVE, RENT THIS.
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