I DIDN'T KNOW "THE MUSCLES FROM BRUSSELS" WAS STILL ALIVE. IN 1995 MY MOTHER TOLD ME HE HAD HERNIATED A DISC ON THE SET OF UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, VIRTUALLY ENDING HIS CAREER. IT WAS A NECESSARY LIE I CHOSE TO BELIEVE. I ASSUMED HE WAS REDUCED TO TEACHING MARTIAL ARTS TO FAT KIDS IN QUEENS, OR SOME OTHER HORRIBLE FATE. TURNS OUT HE WAS JUST ON THE SET OF LEGIONAIRE. LATER IN LIFE I DISCOVERED THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS COCAINE PROBLEM. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS CRUSHED. HOWEVER, HE'S BACK! UNFORTUNATELY, I'M NOW OLD ENOUGH TO REALIZE JEAN-CLAUDE CAN'T ACT. YET ANOTHER PIECE OF JOY THE GODS HAVE CRUELLY STRIPPED FROM ME. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, DOLPH LUNDGREN WILL LOSE HIS CONTRACT WITH ROCKY IV PRODUCTIONS. I JUST GOT CHOKED UP. ANYWAY, IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, AND WANT TO HELP VAN-DAMAGE PAY OFF HIS DEALERS, RENT THIS RAY OF HOPE. UNTIL DEATH STARS JEAN-CLAUDE AS A HEROIN ADDICTED COP IN NEW ORLEANS. A REAL SCUMBAG. AFTER A DRUG DEAL GONE HAYWIRE, JEAN-CLAUDE'S CHARACTER, ANTHONY LOWE, ENDS UP IN A COMA. HIS WIFE IS ALSO KIDNAPPED. AFTER A MIRACULOUS RECOVERY, LOWE BECOMES A ONE MAN REVENGE MACHINE!...IT'S NO DEATH WARRANT BUT IT'S DEFINETLY DEAD-LY. I DON'T ACTUALLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE, UNLESS IT'S PURELY FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE. -TMJ
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