EITHER THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY FLOURIDE IN THEIR WATER OR EUROPEANS ACTUALLY BRUSH THEIR TEETH WITH COFFEE AND CAT SHIT. IN BRUGES IS THE STORY OF TWO HUMOROUS HITMEN BANISHED TO THE HISTORIC, BELGIUM CITY, BRUGES, AFTER BOTCHING THEIR LASTEST ASSIGNMENT IN ENGLAND. THIS MOVIE ALMOST MANAGES TO JUMP FROM TEAR-JERKING DRAMA TO COMEDY WITHOUT A SECOND'S NOTICE. HOWEVER, IT'S A LITTLE UNEVEN. IT'S LIKE WATCHING REQUIEM FOR A DREAM AND THE FIRST SEASON OF PERFECT STRANGERS IN THE SAME DAY, OR PUTTING MUSTARD ON ICE CREAM, OR GETTING BLOWN BY A TRANNY. ALL AMUSING THINGS ON THEIR OWN, BUT COMBINED THEY CAN BE VERY UNSETTLING......."I SEE STREET HOOKERS PREFER WIGS TO REAL HAIR THESE DAYS. DO YOU HAVE CANCER?......OH MY GOD YOU'RE A FUCKING MAN! PASS ME A TRASH CAN, A KLONDIKE, SOME GREY POUPON AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE." SEE WHAT I MEAN. DON'T LEAVE HOME. IT'S NOT SAFE OUT THERE. PARANOIA ASIDE THOUGH, THE ACTING IS QUITE GOOD, THE STORY IS SOMEWHAT ORIGINAL, AND THERE'S A SCENE IN THIS FILM INVOLVING COCAINE, ACID, COLIN FARRELL AND A DWARF. FOR THIS SCENE ALONE, THE MOVIE JERK RECCOMENDS BUYING A TICKET TO IN BRUGES, EVEN IF IT'S ONLY TO SUPPORT FOCUS FEATURES FOR RELEASING A MOVIE INVOLVING DRUGS, A MIDGET AND A DRUNK IRISH ACTOR.
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