THERE ARE A FEW DEFINING MOMENTS IN MY LIFE: THE FIRST TIME I SLEPT WITH POOH-BEAR, THE DAY I DISCOVERED SANTA WAS ACTUALLY AN INVESTMENT BANKER NAMED "DAD," AND THE BEGINNING OF THE IRAN-CONTRA CONFLICT. THIS MOVIE WAS NOT ONE OF THOSE EVENTS. HOWEVER, IN TERMS OF WONDERFUL THINGS, THIS FILM IS DEFINITELY A CLOSE SECOND TO A WESTERN OMELET. RUSSELL CROWE MANAGES TO COMPLETELY DISENGAGE FROM HIS ACTUAL PERSONALITY OF AUSTRALIAN ASSHOLE. HE PERFECTLY CREATES A DANGEROUSLY CHARMING, BANK ROBBING GANG LEADER. NEEDLESS TO SAY, CHRISTIAN BALE FLAWLESSLY ADAPTS TO HIS CHARACTER AS A POOR, SELF-PITYING, CIVIL WAR AMPUTEE, WHOSE WIFE IS READY TO LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE MORE ADMIRABLE. SOMEONE SUCH AS MYSELF, A T.W.A PILOT WITH ONE HELLUVA 401K SAFETY NET, AND A SIX PACK THAT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BETTER SCULPTED BY MICHELANGELO. GOD I LOVE MIRRORS. ANYWAY, THEIR ADVENTURE LEADS THEM THROUGH THE SCENIC WESTERN FRONTIER, COUNTLESS GUN FIGHTS, TOUCHING DIALOGUE, AND OBVIOUSLY TO A TRAIN THAT DEPARTS AT 3:10PM. RENT THIS BIG WINNER TODAY BUT BE PREPARED TO EITHER LOVE OR HATE THE ENDING.
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