IN LIGHT OF THE NEW BATMAN ARRIVING IN THEATRES SOON, I THOUGHT I'D REVIEW THE MOST RECENT BATMAN TO REMIND YOU OF HOW GREAT IT WAS. I ACTUALLY MET THE REAL BATMAN ONCE. HE'S NOT QUITE WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK. HE'S A WEALTHY DRUG ADDICT NAMED WINSTON GATES. ONE NIGHT WHEN HE WAS FLYING ON PCP HE KNOCKED OUT A STRIPPER WHO'D BEEN DANCING ON HIS COFFEE TABLE, RIPPED OFF HER LEATHER ATTIRE AND TURNED IT INTO WHAT WE NOW KNOW AS THE BAT SUIT. HE THEN PROCEEDED TO JUMP OFF HIS BALCONY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO "MASTURBATE AIRBORNE." NEEDLESS TO SAY HE BROKE HIS BACK. HE NOW DONATES MOST OF HIS INHERITANCE TO STEM CELL RESEARCH IN HOPES THAT HE MAY ONCE AGAIN PUT ON HIS "BAT SUIT" WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF 5 NURSES.....BUT THAT'S WHAT BEING A SUPER HERO IS ALL ABOUT, SACRIFICE. WHICH IS WHY THE PUBLIC SO ADORES THIS FRANCHISE. RENT THIS AGAIN BEFORE THE SEQUEL HITS THEATRES.
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