I'VE ALWAYS FELT THE NEED TO SUPPORT AND APPLAUD SYLVESTER STALLONE AND HIS MOVIES. IN THE SAME WAY I FEEL THE NEED TO SUPPORT AND APPLAUD THOSE IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS. IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO TELL THEM THEY'RE SWIMMING AT THE SPEED OF POURED MOLASSES, OR RUNNING AROUND THE TRACK IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. I JUST DON'T HAVE THE HEART TO INFORM THOSE LITTLE RETARDS THAT THEY SUCK BECAUSE THEY'RE CROSSED-EYED, GENETICALLY DEFICIENT, SOCIETAL OUTCASTS, WHO'LL NEVER SUCCEED AT ANYTHING BUT FAILING. LIKE SYLVESTER FOR THE PAST DECADE. HOWEVER, BELIEVE THE MOVIE JERK WHEN HE SAYS, "THIS MOVIE WAS FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!!" FOR ONCE IN THE PAST 15 YEARS SLY'S DONE IT RIGHT AGAIN! RAMBO BARELY SPEAKS, AND SAVAGELY KILLS HUNDREDS OF BURMESE ASSHOLE SOLDIERS, IN THIS THRILLING ACTION ROMP, ALL TO SAVE HUMANITARIANS AND A HOT CHICK. IT'S LIKE THE 80'S ARE REALLY BACK! WE'VE GOT GREAT ACTION MOVIES AGAIN AND WE'RE GOING INTO A RECESSION, SHORTLY AFTER THE MARKET COMPLETELY CRASHES. IT'S GO TIME. SEE THIS MOVIE TONIGHT FOR 90 MINUTES OF PURE ENTERTAINMENT AND NOSTALGIA.
-THE MOVIE JERK
-THE MOVIE JERK
4 comments:
Just wanted to leave a short note and let you know that some of what you had to say here was pretty offensive to me. I'm actually a fairly avid reader of your blog, but I'm pretty upset about what you said about handicapped people. I have a cousin, who is very close to me, who is afflicted with Down's Syndrome. He's 25. And, while he's not as competent as me, he is a very, very special guy. He's not a failure in the least. I'd like you to meet him. I think you're funny most of the time, but you fell short here. Make fun of someone else...someone who can actually help themselves. You have lost a reader.
Tell me about it, I find this asshole to be crass, lewd, and outlandishly inappropriate. and yet I can't look away....
Isn't that why we read this? Anyone who can take offense at this needs to lighten up a bit. We all know handicapped people. They are our friends, our co--workers, our family. But taking the piss a little is what makes this blog actually better than almost anything on the web. dear anonymous, get real, relax, have a bloody bull and grow some chest hair. Let your ball hang down a bit and enjoy life.
i'm still trying to understand what's not funny about handicaps, poor people, and other assorted members of our society who's voting rights should be stripepd quicker than margret chow's drivers license. i like you movie jerk. keep on keeping on.
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