DANIEL DAY-LEWIS. FOR A MAN WHO MAKES MOVIES AS FREQUENTLY AS MICHAEL JACKSON GETS ACCUSED OF MOLESTATION, HE SURE MAINTAINS HIS EXTRAORDINARY CRAFT BETTER THAN A STRIPPER'S TITS. THIS 51 YEAR-OLD, ENGLISH-BORN PHENOMENON ACTS BETTER THAN GLORIA ESTEFAN DANCED THE CONGA IN '89. MAKING HIS DEBUT IN 1971'S SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY, DANIEL PROVES HE COULD STILL HOLD A CROWD EVEN IF HE ACCEPTED A SCRIPT WRITTEN BY RANDY SAVAGE. FORTUNATELY, THERE WILL BE BLOOD, IS A GRIPPING 3HR TALE AS AN ONLY CHILD, EVEN WITHOUT THE FAMILY OF TALENT THAT SIGNED ON FOR THIS OSCAR CONTENDER. ONCE YOU SEE THIS MOVIE, YOU'LL REMEMBER WHAT GREAT ACTING REALLY IS, AND PRAY THAT NICHOLSON HAS A FUCKING FAT-INDUCED HEART-ATTACK, BEFORE WE'RE SUBJECTED TO THE BUCKET LIST 2: JUST GIMME THE FUCKING CHECK. BLOOD IS THE STORY OF THE SUCCESS AND LOSSES OF SELF-MADE OIL TYCOON, DANIEL PLAINVIEW. LIKE ANY SELF-MADE INDIVIDUAL, PLAINVIEW REALIZES ONE MUST STAB, STEAL, KILL AND KNEEL TO MAKE, AND KEEP, ANY "REAL" MONEY IN THIS COUNTRY. OBVIOUSLY, WITHOUT SPOILING THE MOVIE, THERE ARE PAINFUL SACRIFICES ATTACHED TO "AMERICAN SUCCESS." FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE A SCORCHING CASE OF HERPES AND AM GOING MAD FROM SYPHILIS, DUE TO SPENDING $500,000 ON VEGAS HOOKERS. FOR ME IT'S WORTH IT BECAUSE, LIKE BATMAN, I DON'T INTRODUCE MYSELF AS MR. MOVIE JERK. HOWEVER, IT'S UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER MR. PLAINVIEW MADE THE BEST PERSONAL TRADES FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM. SEE THIS TODAY!
5 comments:
Movie Jerk, any reaction to award shows? Daniel Day Lewis won for Bug!
Mr. Movie Jerk- Sorry for the anonomyous 'comment' again- its a little tedious to create a name on my blackberry. Your commentary is quite colorful. Regardless of your views on movies I'm still drawn to this site to see what you have to say next. Ill be emailing you in the upcomming days. With regard to your comment on not needing to drink while writing...- I've written poems and disertations sober, while my commencement address to Harvards graduating class, and published poems were not written sober. If we can compromise on a really jacked up caffiene buzz to write great material, then coffee bean can keep making their $3.45 for my medium nonfat vanilla no sugar added lattes. If not, then fuck me and coffee bean!
who is this anonymous guy????
moviejerk has a following.....
get the digg it button and lets jack up the readership
What is this? I bust my ass all day in the grim, bitter cold of Ottawa just to come home to yesterday's post? looks like my son is going to have another black eye to explain to his classmates tomorrow.
what the dig ti button
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