JESUS CHRIST! WHAT WAS THAT?!....THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO GET CONNED OUT OF 10.50$, BY A RICH, RECKLESS, MANOREXIC "ACTOR." IN THIS TERRIBLE FILM, NICK CAGE CONTINUES TO CONTORT HIS FACE AND WEAR A WIG FOR ANOTHER 20 MILLION DOLLAR PAYDAY. I GUESS AFTER HIS OSCAR WIN FOR LEAVING LAS VEGAS, THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE DECIDED TO TREAT MOVIEGOERS LIKE A PUBLIC BATHROOM. YOU KNOW, THE RESTROOMS THAT LOOK LIKE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHITTING ON THE FLOOR TO KEEP THE TOILET CLEAN, THEN WIPING THEIR ASSES WITH THE SINK. IN THIS NOVELTY, NICK CAGE'S CHARACTER CAN SEE A FEW MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE. NATURALLY, BECAUSE OF THIS TALENT, THE GOVERNMENT CHASES HIM AND JESSICA BIEL FINDS HIM ATTRACTIVE. HUH? WHAT? UNFORTUNATELY, CAGE COULDN'T SEE 6 MONTHS INTO THE FUTURE, WHEN THIS FILM PULLED IN A WHOPPING GRAND TOTAL OF 17 MILLION$....COMPLETELY RESTORING MY FAITH IN AMERICA'S ABILITY TO MAKE PROPER DECISIONS. I WOULDN'T WATCH THIS ON A PLANE IF A TERRORIST PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD, AND PROMISED ME A SAFE LANDING AS LONG AS I FOCUSED ON THE SCREEN. I'D SAY, "FUCK YOU. I QUIT. I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I HATE NICK CAGE." THIS MOVIE JUST REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS. STAY AWAY.
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