THIS HORROR FILM IS VERY SIMILAR TO NICOLE KIDMAN'S THE OTHERS. THE PROTAGONIST GREW UP IN A SPOOKY ORPHANAGE FROM WHICH SHE HAS FOND MEMORIES. 30 YEARS LATER, AFTER THE ORPHANAGE WAS LONG CLOSED, SHE DECIDES TO REOPEN IT TO HOUSE DISABLED YOUTH, RETARDS, DEFORMED FREAKS AND FAT KIDS. BASICALLY A BUNCH OF UGLY, BRAIN DEAD BIRTH DEFECTS THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ADOPTED BY THE CIRCUS. THERE'S A HYSTERICAL PARTY SCENE FOR THE ORPHANAGE'S OPENING DAY WHERE THE NEW KIDS ARE ALL RUNNING INTO WALLS, WEARING MASKS, AND TRYING TO EAT CAKE WITH THEIR FOREHEADS VIA FORKS WITH CORKS ON THE PRONGS. THAT WAS WORTH 10$ RIGHT THERE. SUDDENLY THE "REAL" FRIGHTS BEGIN WHEN THE MAIN CHARACTER'S ACTUAL CHILD (WHO, BY THE WAY, IS ADOPTED AND H.I.V. POSITIVE), GOES MISSING AFTER FOLLOWING HIS IMAGINARY, OR NOT SO IMAGINARY FRIENDS, INTO A DARK BEACH COVE. THE MOTHER NATURALLY BEGINS FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR THE LITTLE SHIT AND FINDS HIM IN THE LEAST EXPECTED PLACE OF ALL.......LIKE A COPPERFIELD SEX OFFENSE CHARGE, IT'S UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHAT'S REAL, WHAT'S NOT, AND WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH? NO MATTER WHAT, THIS FOREIGN IMPORT IS NOTHING SPECIAL, AND NO ONE LIKES SUB-TITLES. ESPECIALLY ANY INNER-CITY GROCERY-BRAGGER WHO WAS LET DOWN BY THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM. HAPPY NU YERE!
2 comments:
While you may say this foreign movie import is nothing special, I'd have to disagree. If you were to simply look at other reviewers who go in depth, you will find that it was actually a decent film. Lets be honest, we have not had an amazing movie in years, nothing really sticks anymore, and any scary movies are simply an overpowered villian killing random teenagers who always split up as if they were in an episode of scooby-doo only to die at the hands of the killer one by one. Or the movies are what appear to be the remnants of a spaghetti dinner covered in ketchup. If you were to rate this movie fairly by those principles, then you would have to consider that it at least was taking a step out of the norm and became interesting. The plot can be divided as you said into real and unreal, however the ratio of the real to unreal is unknown and can be argued for, making a move that sticks in ones mind. Sure some things were a bit odd, like adopting "special children" and how the ghosts had to be real in some way, yet also not be as real as the mother saw them to be (the clues didnt lay themselves- and the kid didnt just make up a bunch of kids by accident) anyways I find your review to be a bit obnoxious, and it seems that rather than review the movie you are trying to debase its name for the sake of debasing it. There is no substance to your review, and you are essentially taking the stance of the stereotyped ignorant teen, who would rather mock a movie to sound cool, or who believes emotion to be a weakness, or some thing of that nature. It would be better if you would keep your points to the fact, and not only discuss the small parts of the film that you can criticize, but discuss the film as a whole, and make a realistic theory on why it sucks, which would make your reviews funnier. Also not everyone hates subtitles- subtitles are like a book basically, and they also allow you to hear things you might of missed even in movies that are in English. whats worse is that I think my response to your review is longer than your response was.
WOW. YOUR WORDS WERE ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL AND LIFE CHANGING. NOW I'M GOING TO DO YOU A FAVOR. 424-204-8524. SPECIFY HAIR COLOUR AND WEIGHT. YOU NEED IT. - TMJ
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